Long days at work, easy camaraderie, cups of coffee, commuting together and random conversations at the water filter, add unmistakable attraction and shared interests and you have a recipe for office romance....
Office romance is no longer a rarity or a taboo as it was, with almost half our lives spent in the workplace, dating and being in relationships with those we work with, is getting more common. Before you jump off and ask your colleague for a date, remember that office romance is complicated and if gone wrong can affect your career and reputation. We give you the highs and lows of having a relationship with a co-worker.
Should I, shouldn’t I?
You must be careful before you go out there and profess your love to your co-worker. Here are some things to consider…
Do you know the person?
Attraction is not the sole criteria that you must look at before you make a move. Since office is an environment where you can observe the person at close quarters, you need to get to know the person well before you think of romance. Be just friends for a while and spend more time with the person so that you know what you are getting into.
Can you trust the person?
The person you decide to date should also share your need to keep things discreet and private. If you find that some of the details of your relationship are circulating in the office, you need to get out of the relationship as soon as possible.
Your Company policy
Some companies frown upon relationships in the office and strongly recommend against it. There may even be a written code of conduct on such matters. You may need to go through the policy or look around for examples to know where exactly your company stands on such matters.
Also remember the no, no’s
- Relation with your direct line of command
Any relationship with your direct superior or subordinate is not advisable. Not only will your relationship with your boss or junior, get the tongues wagging, all your efforts and your work may be overshadowed by your relationship status. Any promotion granted will be seen as favoritism. You may also have difficulty maintaining the same professional attitude needed in office.
So the first rule is look for love outside the direct line of command….
You were always a hard worker and your boss had high hopes from you, but now that you are in a relationship you find yourself messaging and chatting to your love interest when you are not actually talking with the person!
You must decide for yourself if you are being as faithful to your work as you are with your partner. Being distracted shows in your work and your long time career aspirations will be affected.
Second rule of office romance is keeping private and work lives separate…
- Wearing your heart on your sleeve
You need to draw boundaries in your professional and private life. You need to figure it out how in spite of spending all the time together off work, you still have a working relationship where you may have to tell unpleasant things and be objective in decisions. You also need to keep the conflicts out of the office and still have a professional conduct around each other.
Third rule of office romance is being discreet about your love life….
Some Dos
- Discuss if you want to keep it under wraps
It is recommended that you don’t publicize about your relationship at the beginning, since it may get the rumor mill in your office working, overtime. Over a period of time, when you are serious about your relationship, you may tell decide to inform your colleagues or the management in case you see any complications ahead. Some couples decide not to bring their relation in public and keep it under wraps for a long time.
- Maintain a professional distance
Stealing glances, sharing secret jokes is fine, but as far as public display of affection is concerned, you know that office is not the right place to do it. Being very expressive of your affection can in fact, land you in trouble. So while in the office, maintain distance and try not to spend all your time in office with him or her. Do not chat with your love interest all the time and don’t send the mails through official email id.
You may also find that spending all the time with one person can create tension in the relationship so deciding to have lunch with other colleagues, hanging out separately will help strengthen your bond.
Especially for an office romance, you need to discuss what if upfront with your partner. You need to discuss what happens if the relationship does not work out. If you find that both of you are ready to be mature about the whole deal, you have chances of still working in the same organization irrespective of the relationship status.
Consider the Worst case Scenario
Office Gossip: In case your relationship is uncovered in ‘not so pleasant’ manner, there will be a min-scandal in the office. Your reputation as you know it would be tainted forever and you may also have to always deal with the whispers in the background.- Bad Vibes: In case your relationship doesn’t work and both of you have separated on a sour note, the work environment will be seriously affected. Because you would not like to face the person, you just broke up with; your work will suffer.
- Career suffers: The way your relationship turns up also affects your career. If the management is not happy with the romantic link ups or if you have an ugly break up, you have to resign your position and face a career low.
- Harassment charges: A relationship with a subordinate gone wrong may even lead to sexual harassment charges framed against you. You may have to justify your actions and show that the relationship was consensual.
So remember before you begun a romantic liaison in your office, you need to think hard about the consequences and once you are convinced that the relationship is worth it, go for it!
