‘7:00 a.m. – Wake up, reach out for the blackberry to see if there are any mails
9: 00 a.m. - Tweet about what you are doing at the moment
10:00 a.m. - Maneuver through the traffic while surfing the net on the blackberry
10:30 a.m. -8:00 p.m. - Reach office, go through the mails, spend time replying, attend meetings, complete your work and leave for home
9:00 p.m. - Reach home, sit in front of the idiot box and watch news
10:00 a.m. - Have dinner
11: 00 a.m. - Surf, chat, blog and tweet
12:00-2:00 a.m. - Take laptop to bed; complete work, sleep’
This is the average schedule of a workaholic, techno savvy, executive, climbing the corporate ladder with a six figure salary. But do you find something missing here?
This executive is spending almost all the free time in front of one gadget or other, other than his time in the office, traffic, he or she spends very less time talking and socializing and is mostly busy typing away to glory. We don’t see ‘spending time with family’ in his or her list nor does ‘sex’ feature in his or her ‘to do’ list.
If you identify with this executive and still wonder about your lackluster sex life… you are missing the big picture. We have some of your techno savvy habits that have a bad impact on your relationships and sex life. But firstly, find how to know if you have a problem…
How to know that you are addicted to technology?
You are addicted to Technology, if-
- First thing you look for after you wake up is your Blackberry…
- You remember all your passwords but forget your wedding anniversary…
- You get ‘withdrawal pangs’ when your laptop isn’t working…
Bringing your Laptop to bed- When you are constantly thinking about work when you are not actually working; you are bound to bring home some of the work and what better way to bring your work home other than the ‘friendly’ laptop. But remember, while working all the time may give you early promotion, working in the bed when you should be talking and relaxing with your partner will bring in resentment in the relationship. What started as short term overwork could become a habit and you may see your relationship with your partner becoming more distant!
Working on your Blackberry under the covers- You feel a need to be connected always and blackberry serves as an excellent tool for connectivity. But keeping your blackberry on your bedside table will not give you sleep or affection and worse of it, ‘sex’.
This is because there will be alerts, messages, alarms along with the other annoying features like vibration and lights that keep switching on and off the entire night due to the other insomniacs and workaholics around the world robbing you of any peace of mind or sleep.
With you bringing your blackberry to your bed, you will be busy chatting, surfing while you partner waits and finally gives-up waiting for you to return to bed and finally doze off. Since blackberry is smaller than the earlier favorite laptops you may sneak in some time on your ‘BB’ while your partner is asleep but judge for yourself if being this connected is worth it, especially when you two are growing apart…
Tweeting ‘all the time’ about ‘everything’- You are hooked on the newest tool- twitter which appeals to your need to being interesting, funny and with the ability to connect to large number of people while being less time consuming. So you are busy writing one liners and responding to the tweets by famous celebrities. You use all your experiences (you tweet your kids photos, comment on your in- laws, complain about your spouse and vent out your frustrations) good or bad as a fodder for you tweets but guess what, one fine day your spouse happens to see your tweets and is positively fuming!
He or she is surprised that while you seem to be too busy to talk and share, you have already given away details of your lives to strangers. If this scenario hasn’t already happen, it surely can, if you continue this way.
So, is technology to blame?
Dr. Anshu Kulkarni, Psychiatrist and Psychotherapist practicing in at Raheja Hospital doesn’t think so “Let’s not blame technology for impacting the relationships here.” She thinks while in some scenarios technology has been found to widen the gap, it is actually the partners who have allowed it to be so. She says, “It is the responsibility of both the partners to keep the communication channels open and spend quality family time together. You need to give undivided attention to each other to maintain the close bond.”
So why do we allow technology to widen the gap?
Dr. Anshu says “Technology is just one excuse, if there are problems in the relationship, if partners are not sensitive to each other’s feeling, then such a problem crops up, it is just one way of expressing the maladjustment issues.” She also reminds us that if relationships bonds are strong, technology helps reduce the gap, “In long distance relationships, technology through emails, web chats, tweets, mobile phones, keeps the relationship strong.”
