Ramesh and Priya Khanna, a recently married young couple was over the moon when they received news of Priya’s pregnancy. Soon, plans to turn the study in the Khanna household into a nursery were being made. Priya even went ahead and started buying soft toys on the second day of her pregnancy. But this happiness didn’t last for long!
The reason was that Priya was getting all worked up even at the mere mention of the word ‘sex’. The couple's sex life had come to a grinding halt after the news of the pregnancy. They both feared that having sex would harm the baby, this fear coupled with their anxiety and confusion has since had a tremendous impact on their sex life. Here, Ramesh and Priya are no different than any other couple - confused and scared when it comes to sex during pregnancy.
Following are some Q&As that are aimed at helping ease the anxieties related to sex during pregnancy
Is it okay to have Sex during pregnancy?
A prominent Sexologist and columnist Mahinder Watsa, shed light on this basic query which haunts every young couple, “Sex during pregnancy is mainly dependent on the female patient as she is the one who is carrying the child. Moreover sex is to be avoided in the first three months because the woman experiences hormonal fluctuations; also she is nauseated and fatigued during those months and does not have the energy or desire to have sex”. Watsa believes that the decision of whether or not to have sex during pregnancy is solely the choice of the couple in question.
Elaborating further he adds, “Sex should also be avoided in the last few months because orgasms in the woman can cause intense contractions of the uterus and can harm the baby”. Normally sex is advised in the second trimester, as increase in the blood flow to the sexual organs can kindle desire, the third trimester again diminishes the desire to have sex.
- Will my baby be harmed if I have sex during pregnancy?
No, the baby will not be harmed during sex as the cervix is well sealed by a mucous plug and the baby stays well protected within the womb. The amniotic sac and the strong muscles of the uterus also serve as your baby’s protectors ensuring that no harm comes to the baby if you have sex while you’re pregnant.
However anal sex and deep penetration are to be avoided during pregnancy, as it might harm the baby. Here are some of the most common and safe sexual positions recommended for pregnant couples:-
Woman on top position: This position is recommended because it takes the pressure off the woman’s abdomen and allows her to control the angle, depth and frequency of insertion.
Spooning position: Spooning is recommended, as in this position both partners lie on their sides, with the man’s front facing the women’s back. Entry is from behind and this takes the pressure off the woman’s stomach and allows for shallow penetration, thereby curtailing any chances of harm to the baby by means of deep penetration.
Sideways: In this position the couple lies on their sides, facing each other. The benefits of this position during pregnancy are that it keeps the weight off the woman’s abdomen and also helps in supporting the uterus.
Rear Entry: This position involves the woman kneeling on all her fours with the partner entering her from behind; this allows her to balance her stomach and chest with pillows. However this position can aid deep penetration and care should be taken by both to avoid this.
- My partner refuses to have sex, is it normal?
There are many reasons for this withdrawal. While many people find their pregnant spouse/partner attractive, they can avoid intimacy due to a new found fear of harming the baby and the mother during sex. Other reasons serving as mood dampeners could be feeling self conscious about having sex in the presence of a third (the unborn baby) or worries about the impending parenthood etc.
It is important that you talk to your partner, keeping all channels of communication open will help both of you immensely. Talking will help him open up to you about his fears, worries and will also help you reassure him.
- Can orgasms cause early labour?
As orgasms lead to the contraction of the uterus, many fear that it might lead to a miscarriage. But the contractions one experiences after sex are vastly different from the labor contractions. Chances of going into labor are high only if the woman experiences a strong orgasm and her body is ready for labour (last month of pregnancy or last trimester).
Is body image a detriment for women to have sex while pregnant?
Women’s body image of themselves does tend to take a beating during pregnancy; interfering in their sex lives. A huge percentage of women even use this as a reason to avoid sex. However research suggests that there is a large number of women whose body image remains unaffected throughout pregnancy.
While the answer to this question remains purely subjective, it is important that the man reassures his spouse. Sex during pregnancy can prove to be a tricky affair, but if the Khannas can overcome the fear and anxiety related with sex during pregnancy, by understanding and follow the guidelines, you too can!
