Have you thrown your mobile phone to the floor in anger and then later regretted it? Yelled at your friends or family in frustration when they were actually just trying to be nice? Do you follow it all up by saying – “Sorry yaar I was just angry, I didn’t mean it”?
But just a sorry isn’t good enough is it? We always end up wishing we hadn’t reacted that way. So how do we help ourselves?
First of all we need to get to the root. Anger.
What we perceive as anger is usually our frustration stemming from certain situations or people like: Frustration that your boss has told you and you simply cannot object, frustration that your children just don’t listen to you, frustration that your boyfriend doesn’t have the time for you, frustration that the damn bus is late!
Here we are in one of those situations. How do we make sure that we don’t adversely react?
Here are some pointers:
- Step 1 - Reason - First of all find the reason for your anger. Why are you feeling this way?
- Steps 2 - Feel it - Now allow yourself to feel it for a few moments. Allow the anger to wash through you. Simply trying to put it away or suppressing it will in turn lead to stress issues.
- Step 3 - Let go - After you have felt it, try letting it go. Do not relive the reason/incident in your mind. It is over. Replaying it over and over in your mind only keeps on building our anger and doesn’t allow us to let go.
- Step 4 - Be constructive - If you find that the situation doesn’t change and that you are constantly angry, irritated or edgy, then there are certain constructive ways to relax yourself. (Mentioned below)
- Step 5 - No addictions - Do not simply resort to habits like drinking caffeine or alcohol, smoking, taking drugs (however mild), taking anti-depressants or any other pills. They end up making you addictive and dependant and in fact add to your stress.
What can I do to keep my anger in check? [ No advice to count back from 100 to 0 !! ]
- Talk to someone - This is the most common advice given. Talk to someone who can understand you and who will be sympathetic. Get it out of your system. You will feel better once you have shared.
- Cry - This is the best way to rid all pressures from your system and it calms you. But don’t cry all the time either! Also do remember to drink water or any fluid once you are done.
Eat - This is not a very healthy option but sometimes the root of our anger may be that we are hungry. So have a meal or maybe a sweet fruit like banana or chikoo, as they will add to your body energy levels which are low when the mind is frustrated. Even a piece of chocolate is not a bad idea.
- Meditate - (for those who can effectively concentrate) there are different ways to meditate like simply concentrating on your breathing- in and out, in and out, in and out. Concentrate on one thing or thought (good thought) and allow your inner self to relax. Try and clear the mind of all different kinds of thoughts and perhaps chant something or simply repeat any positive statement or word that you like.
- Exercise - Sweat it out. Most of the time when frustrated and angry we feel like we want to hurl something. At this point go for a walk or a run. Use a punching bag if available. Go and work out at the gym, do a few strokes at the swimming pool, etc. Whatever works for you.
- Healthy distraction - Watch a movie or read a book to keep your mind away from whatever it is that is angering you. Involve yourself in a new project or some new work that is not mechanical, so that your mind is kept busy.
- Music - “Music soothes the soul”. Listen to your favorite music. Preferably start with a fast track to suit your mood and then shift to a softer, soothing one to
calm you.
- Sleep - This is an option that may not always be convenient but whenever possible, cry or shout yourself out in the privacy of your room and then sleep the anger off. It does wonders when you wake up.
Anger and frustration are destructive emotions that are unfortunately unavoidable. They create immense negative energy in you that can do you great harm. Transfer those energies constructively and do not give into crazy urges at the peak of your anger. Take a deep breath and follow any one of the given suggestions. Try them in rotation and then find the one that suits you the best. You can also use different ones for different situations depending on mood or convenience. Better manage anger well rather than regret our reactions later. .
