It takes years to form a good friendship, years to start knowing each other, it takes decades before you complete each other’s sentences… but it doesn’t take much to know if your sex life is in a good shape. A healthy sex life generally says that the relationship is solid and the going good. While a shaky and slightly unhealthy sex life can be caused due to a number of reasons from medical to emotional or may be simply caused due to stress.
Here are the signs that tell you the truth about your Sex Life:
You are satisfied with your sex life
The one person who can tell if you have a sex life is, not the self help book or your therapist or even your partner. It is ‘you’ who knows if you are satisfied with your partner and with the kind of sex life you are currently have. If you feel that you and your partner are adequately expressing your sexual selves then there is nothing wrong with your sex life.
You both are interested in Sex
Sex is something both of you enjoy, you never are tired to have it or afraid of it. If you still desire your partner and work towards each other’s pleasure, you both are passionate about each other. This kind of unending passion results into a long enduring sex life for both of you. Keep your passions burning and sex will never be the problem in your relationship.
You and your partner see eye to eye on Sex
Most of the times you find that it is you or your partner who initiates sex and you have no qualms about it. You feel both of you are at a similar wavelength regarding matters of sex. Sex for you is not a power struggle and you treat is as an expression of love rather than conflict.
You both are still exploring each other
Your sex life is still interesting. Even after spending considerable time with each other, the fire is still alive. You both are still experimenting and exploring your sex life. With you both, sex is something you look forward to.
You openly discuss your desires and issues
You have no issues discussing your deepest desires with your partner. Because you are comfortable with the way your sex life is, you are comfortable discussing issues, when you experience them.
There is more to your relationship than Sex
For a healthy sex life, you must be in a healthy relationship, first. You and your partner both believe in spending time with each other and sharing your emotions and feelings. There are times when you cannot always have sex but you make a point to still to show how much you care!
For those couples you find themselves, nodding at all or most points, then you are lucky to have a very healthy sex life. For many couples, these conditions are not that easily met. But remember! Do not fret, you will not be the first couple to have to struggle to find a comfortable, consistent and enduring sex life but it does not mean that you cannot do it. Relationship is something you have to work on, is more about your willingness and feelings than anything else.
Here are some steps to convert a boring, static sex life to a healthy, active and interesting one…
Introspect- When you see the signs which say you don’t have a very healthy sex life, the same points can tell where exactly you are going wrong. It may be that your sexual desires don’t match or if you are left unsatisfied or it may be because you are not interested in sex. Whatever may be the cause, remember it is never too late to make a change. Rather than blaming your partner, start by looking into your own behavior and change the traits that are pulling you apart.
Communicate- When you know what is causing the rift, it is a good time to start talking about the issue. Express your point of view and listen to what your partner has to say. If it is only one partner which is feeling that everything is not going good, the other one needs to understand exactly what has triggered this problem. Remember, unless you resolve all you conflicts, your sex life will be strained.
Know each other- Obviously you know each other, even more than yourself! But do you remember the last time when you have spoke at length about something other than the house, the kids or work? This is the time to get back to the time when you had just met when hours of talking still seems insufficient. So share your desires, fears, dreams with each other. Even if it seems silly to go back to this phase of giddy teenagers, it is essential that you start pouring your heart out because unless there is emotional intimacy, there is no physical intimacy.
Make efforts- You are tired of your sex life and it is time to make some efforts. Plan a trip or a second honeymoon or at least spend a weekend together without everyday worries. Do what your partner loves- dress up, perform, sing, cook etc. Read books to spice up your sex life. Be open, be willing and be present- you will easily get back to having a healthy sex life.
Being in a relationship you are likely to go through ups and downs, so no matter what your sex life looks like right now, you can always change it for better! So what are you waiting for, there is so much to explore and so much to learn…. get going.
